Sun, Sep 15, 2002 - 11:33 a.m.

For some reason my emotions and feelings have been super-sensitive lately. I feel like telling people what they mean to me and what I really feel. I was just talking to David (that's his real name, I've always used an alias in case you're confused ->Hunter or something) and I wanted to tell him I wanted to fuck him during highschool and that I miss him more than he knows (he's gone away to University), and that his friendship means so much to me.

By law I really should be disgustingly hung over right now. I've never had a hungover and I've decided that it must be because I keep my body very well hydrated on a daily basis. Last night my mom made me a Marguerita, then I went to Rach's house with her friend Jodi and drank 1/3 of a massive bottle of Broken Down Golf Cart, then we went to the club (where I was supposed to meet Nick, but we were 1/2 hour late and I never found him all night) and random guys managed to buy me: 3 Sex on the Beaches, 2 Tequila Rose shots, 1 Rye and Coke, and a Polar Bear--I was wrecked! I had been wanting to dance all week and I totally got it out on that dance floor. Of course Rach and Jodi are dance maniacs too so we created somewhat of a scene. We were basically surrounded by guys at the end of the night. I had a lineup of like 10 guys I had to hug goodbye and I DIDN'T hate it. Although I was sorta on the lookout for Nick all night, and when I realized he had left I was sorta pissed. We were only 1/2 hour late and it was because his of his directions. This morning I felt sorta sleezy for taking all those drinks from guys but this was actually something I felt I needed to get out of my system; and I'm glad things worked out the way they did.

Why does my body feel like this? Emotionally I feel overloaded. I want to love someone. I want to rock someone's world.

maybe i do

LoveGrace