Fri, Jan 31, 2003 - 7:12 p.m.

This morning I had a staff meeting at 7:30. Afterwards I worked out hard-core and then Nick picked me up and we went to the doctor. I got a perscription for Ortho-Tri-Cyclen because the pill I was on was fucking me up and I found out it's a super-high dosage of progesterone and that's totally ridiculous to give a girl like me. Nick came over for lunch and we had A GOOD TIME (if ya know what I mean). Then he had to leave for work.

When Nick left I ate and ate and ate until I was fucking about to burst and then I threw up for about an hour. I threw up so much I was dizzy and had a sore throat afterwards. Now tell me that I'm not a little un-healthy. Do I need mental help or what?? I was going to mention something to the doctor about my fucked up disordered eating earlier but he seemed pretty eager to get me my pills and and talk about my period and getting me a pap smear. He actually wanted to do it himself...I was like..ugh...NO THANKS, you can rebook me with a female doctor. ;)

I walked to my hair appointment at 3:30 and it felt nice sitting in a comfy chair for 2 hours while someone played with my hair and made it pretty. I'm even more blonde now....

I came home and totally fell asleep. I should have kept sleeping because now I just feel tired and gross.

Tonight is fucked up because I made plans with Kelly from work but want to bail and feel like shit about it. I've been avoiding her calls all day. I just wanna lay with Nick and watch The Sopranos.

I'm such a bulimic headcase.

I'm fucked up.

LoveGrace