Sun, Aug 24, 2003 - 9:31 a.m.

My freaking Lord:

When I woke up my clock literally said "8:57". My shift starts at 9 (or actually ten to 9), and well, on Sundays I'm the only one at the gym so I open the doors for the members.

I think I must have set a record or something because when I got to work it was only 9:04!

This is an amazing feat seeing as how I don't have a car (called a cab that luckily arrived in two seconds). While freaking out, I managed to quickly wash my face, run a brush through my hair (long hair can get unmanagably tangly throughout the night) and that's pretty much it.

Now I'm stuck here all day feeling like crap. I'm tired, (I still didn't get much sleep---long disgusting story), I have no lunch or snack packed and didn't eat breakfast--and it's soo hard to stomach bars in the morning but I'm just SO against missing breakfast; and I don't have any change of clothes for getting home, or any reading material or my day planner to keep me occupied. This fucking sucks.

I'm so pissed at myself.

Both my sisters are gone now and I'm an only child (like I always wanted). Selena's back in New Orleans and J. is in Montreal going to University. This is depressing me only because it makes me realize that I'm the one who wanted out so bad...and HERE I FUCKING STILL AM.

I need to swear less.

I need to get out of here.

I need to grow up.