Mon, Jul 05, 2004 - 1:37 a.m.

Wow, this is brutal. I hate boys, man. Me and Nick just don't get along anymore...could this be the end? We were going to celebrate our two year anniversary in a month...but we're not even talking right now..and I'm not dying because of it.

The fact that it's not killing me is probably because I've been hanging out (and going out...drinking) with either Jessica or Rach every night. I don't have time to care. I'm having too much fun with other people. That sounds horrible..but he drives me absolutely nuts.

I am the controlling one in the relationship...everyone knows it, but he knows how to push my buttons, and when he does...watch out. I actually smacked him in the face today, and then basically told him to get the fuck out of my car...which he did. He eventually somehow got a ride to my house and picked up his car today....and RIGHT NOW his best friend is talking to me on MSN...and I know Nick's behind it..because he's online too..ignoring me. Oh this is so dumb! How old am I now?

I've had a kickass couple of days though, I have to say. I can't even start to describe yesterday....not enough time to go through the whole night...but it was all good...and I was a tad bad.

I haven't written about it but my sister's ex has been messaging me alot saying how he wants to hook up (BAD)...anyhow, he was there last night. NOTHING happened though...almost.

ABOUT MODELING last weekend on TV...it went great. I swear my praying pulled me through. I had so much confidence I surprised myself. I was so happy...and I made MUCHO CASHOLA!

anyway....ugh

lovegrace