Fri, Nov 01, 2002 - 8:03 p.m.

Everything I have fucking eaten today has given me maaad cramps. Ouch.

I've been realllly bad about taking my pill lately. I actually had a dream last night (after I spent the evening with my man...and rocked the casba with him) that I was pregnant. Oh lord. I was actually happy in my dream. Bizzarre.

I had the most delicious skim-milk latte today. It gave me major stomach problems but tasted good.

I've been fucking up big time at my workplace lately. I hope they don't fire me. Then I wouldn't be able to work out like a madwoman.

Did I mention that I'm doing FIGURE in December's fitness show now instead of the one tomorrow. Well Nick and I realized that my registration went in too late so I just registered for the WINDSOR show instead. That gave me the courage to have coffee and other crap today. That low-carb week I did really fucked me up. I've been reeeally bad lately...I'm seriously hurting my stomach. I fuck up, then I throw up. It's really stupid because I had pancreatitis not too long ago, and now it feels like it's flaring up again. Goddamnit...when you stop eating carbs you go nuts! Don't ever give up carbs!!

I bought the American History X DVD today at the mall. I want to keep it, but I'm thinking I'll give it as part of Nick's Christmas present. Aren't I good--Christmas shopping already!! :)

Oh yeah it snowed today. Ladidah--welcome to Canada.

I fucking hate cold weather. Everyone at work calls me MALIBU BARBIE. I was tanning hard-core for that competition and all. I love how it looks with my blonde hair--super California sexy.

Now all I need is a beach.

Lovegrace