Sat, Oct 26, 2002 - 1:14 p.m.

I would say that last night falls in to the fucked up category, however it definitely could have been worse.

Nick and I went to the local bar with Rach, and of course my EX was there. Just looking at him made me want to keel over and barf any sort of food that remained in my system (I had fucked up and purged a few hours earlier....fucking no carb diets are hard to stick to goddamnit!).

Anyway I looked fucking hot as hell since I'm training so much for the competition--I'm talking pretty much Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue abs, and not an extra ounce of fat on me besides my boobs. And what was good was that I had my boyfriend, and he was just hanging out with his loser drug dealer friend Ray (totally eww and even tried to hit on me last night...the nerve!) and Ray's ass ugly girlfriend and his girlfriend's disgustingly gross friend. It was sort of the perfect situation to make him look/feel like shit (and believe me he deserves to look and feel like shit).

So Aarron, being the intellectual adult that he is comes over and pulls my hair then walks away. That's cool. I avoided the ass hole all night except when I asked him when I could come over and pick up my winter jacket and the money he owes me. He got all offended and was like "Is that all you care about?" and I was like... "Uh yeah!". Does he really think I care about him? Sorry Honey, I couldn't care less.

I am so happy I have Nick. We left early and came to my house to hang out on the couch and watch Conan. He just kept staring at me and kissing me and saying sweet things to me. It felt so nice because I had been feeling bad all day (check out yesterday's entry)--he'd even brought me flowers when he came to pick me up. He just kept telling me how beautiful I was and how I'm the best part of his life. I was so tired and comfortable--I just wanted to lay there with him forever.

Today I am very sore. Nick and I are going to the MuscleMag store in T.O. when he gets off work. I miss him. I'm such a lucky girl.

LoveGrace